Thoughts of Truth
by DearYouFromMe
Summary: When the world needs something, someone must rise up to the occasion. But how do they really feel about the situations that they have been placed in? The thoughts of Code Geass characters when the world asks them to answer the call.
1. Chapter 1: The False Brother

**Thoughts of Truth**

 **Chapter 1: The False Brother**

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Knightmares, both Britannian and Japanese, flew past me, but I paid them no mind. Instead, I destroyed them. Methodically and precisely, just as I had been trained to do. I knew that Big Brother probably wouldn't approve what I was doing, but this is for his own good. After all, these are the people who tried to have him killed. For that, they deserve to be punished. They deserve death.

 _But not now_ , I reminded myself. Right now, what mattered the most was getting Lelouch to safety. Their punishment could wait until later, but I have a duty to do right now. Speaking of Big Brother, I could tell that he was too shocked and upset to even talk right now. It's understandable, I suppose, when you are betrayed by the very people you led and by someone who only seeks to find peace with war. _It's all their fault. Schneizel and the Black Knights_.

I knew that the Black Knights were only going to drag Lelouch down. After all, they were willing to betray him, even after all he had done for their cause. They weren't loyal like me. In the end, it was I who saved him. It was I who was risking my life to make sure that my brother was okay.

I love him. While Lelouch may have snapped at me, and said such horrible things to me, I knew he didn't mean it. He loves me, after all. That's why we shared such amazing memories before he woke up as Zero. That's why he let me on board this mission. He knew that I could get the job done. He had faith in me. In the end, he only said those horrible things so he could protect me. He just didn't want me around so I could save myself, but I saw right through him. Unlike that ungrateful redhead girl.

All of a sudden, my heart felt as if it was being twisted. I guided my Knightmare downwards while I grasped at my chest, eager to distract myself from the pain. The pain that was slowly getting worse. First it was only a small tug, but with every usage of my Geass, the pain slowly increased until I was gasping for breath and clawing at my shirt. I knew that I couldn't survive all of these enemies by myself, even with my training, so I was forced to rely on my Geass. However, it would all be worth it. As long as Lelouch was safe.

But I also knew that I might not be able to survive. For every enemy I shot down, more seemed to take its place. I needed to escape quickly before I was cornered and shot down. _Before my heart fails me. Before I fail my brother_. I needed to escape, and everything would be alright. While the enemies had numbers, I had skill and the power of my Geass. So, even while a tiny amount of doubt resided in my heart, I knew that everything was going to be alright.

In order to escape, I needed to use my Geass even more than I already had. In order to escape, I needed to risk my life until I was on the verge of death. However, the sight of my Big Brother calmed my fears. I would do it because I love him. I needed to protect him, just like what happened with that orange haired girl. I need to make sure that he's alright because of all that he had done for me.

I need to protect Lelouch.

We traveled quickly in to the distance, putting miles between us and our pursuers. _I did it. I protect us both_. I was so happy. Now, all we needed to do was lan— _No! Nonononononono!_ The pain had returned in full force. My chest was burning, and I allowed one hand to clutch at my shirt in a desperate attempt to ease my pain.

"Big Brother!" I cried, "I need to land right now!" He grunted in response, and I placed my hand back at the controls, ready to perform an emergency landing. My breaths were growing ragged, each one shorter than the last. My sweaty palms gripped tightly on the controls as I attempted to guide us to a safe area for landing.

"Quickly, buckle yourself in somewhere! You need to hold on tight!" I called to Lelouch desperately. I heard the click of a buckle behind me, and I quickly went to lower our flight path. The ground was coming quickly, and I needed to slow us down but my vision was slowly fading.

Just as we reached the first trees, the pain stopped. I was confused for a second, but then my vision went black. The last image I had in my head was that of Lelouch. As soon as I saw them, I knew that everything was going to be fine. This vision of my brother smiled at me, that caring and gentle smile that he only used for me, his little brother. I smiled back at him, but it seemed to take forever to do so.

 _Everything is going to be alright. My Big Brother will save me. He always has a plan._

And then I knew no more.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hello everyone! If you've been following me, no, I am not dead. In fact, I have been very much alive. I have been quite busy for the past couple of months as I have finished high school, done exams, and graduated. Very exciting stuff, and I'm glad to be moving on to the next chapter in my life.

I've also been very uninspired to write until very recently, as you can see from my activity. Writing is simply just a hobby to me, and while I would like to improve, there is a lot of things going on in my life as I am about to make that transition in to post-secondary education. I can't exactly promise regular updates, but I have planned further chapters in this series. Hopefully that'll keep me inspired enough to keep writing for the time being.

Now, about this series. After seeing a ton of stories about time travel and realization of truths in the Code Geass universe, I decided to make something different. While it isn't exactly a unique idea, I wanted to have a take on what the characters were thinking during their most important moments. And that's what this series will be. What goes on in their heads when stuff is going down? I have more characters planned for this series, so look forward to that.

Sorry that this chapter was short, but I think that the coming chapters will be longer. Also, thank you to the wonderful guest review on Zero Emotion that inspired me to keep writing. Your words are very much appreciated.

That's all for now, and thank you very much for reading this new story. I wish you all the best.

DYFM out!


	2. Chapter 2: Broken Innocence

**Thoughts of Truth**

 **Chapter 2: Broken Innocence**

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Dear Diary,

I'd like to say that today was a normal day, but that wasn't really the case. In fact, it was rather tiring and emotionally draining. However, it started out perfectly fine! I went to school and sat through the usual daily routine. Both you and I already know that math class was painful, but I managed to get through it today. There was no Student Council meeting today, as everyone was busy with their own personal activities. I just hope Lulu and Rolo weren't up to something dangerous today...but I'll get to that later! So instead, I decided to drop by the mall with Valerie and Samantha from the swim club.

I finally got to buy that cute romper that I was eyeing last week, and I'm really happy! The other girls bought some clothes too, and I have to say, they looked great! We kept shopping for a while, but then Valerie's parents told her to come home. Soon after, Samantha's dad came to pick her up. I didn't mind that they left early, though. In times like these, where the threat of war is looming above you, it's best to stay safe. However, the real trouble began after they left.

I left the mall feeling really happy, because I bought a ton of new clothes to wear. However, just after I exited the mall, I could feel this weird thing in the air but I can't explain it at all. But all of a sudden, my head started pounding like crazy! I dropped my bags and clutched at my head, which felt as if it was splitting in two.

And then I remembered.

I remembered about why my dad died in Narita. I remembered who did it. Lelouch Lamperouge...our should I say Lelouch vi Britannia? It doesn't even matter anymore to me, because he's Zero! He killed my dad! He's ruined lives! He...lied to me. He lied to me over and over and over again. I should hate him. I should hate him for killing my dad; for getting me involved with that maniac Mao. I remember him too, the insane Chinese man with silver hair and a crazy laugh. I remember everything.

Then I also remembered that I was kneeling on the ground clutching my head. In public, with people staring. It was so embarrassing! So I picked myself up quickly and ran home, which wasn't too far, thankfully. Thinking about other people watching me break down gives me such anxiety... When I got home, I only managed to squeak out a quick "hello" to my mom before rushing to my room. I just slammed my door shut and collapsed on the bed, which brings me here.

Now, to sort out all this mess!

The most horrifying thing that I remember was that insane, twisted, and sickening laugh. Mao's laugh. Despite what the some people may think of Zero, Mao was truly a villain. The scariest part about him was the fact that he didn't care about the damage that he was causing, only that it brought Lelouch pain. He used his madness to hit us where it hurt the most, but he acted like it was some sort of game. I've never said this about anyone before, but Mao was a monster. He was like something straight out of one of those horror movies that my club mates have gotten me to watch, but only slightly different. Instead of targeting the body, Mao targeted the mind. It was the one thing that I couldn't protect, and neither could Lelouch.

Lelouch. His very name makes my heart ache, yet makes it pound at the same time. It makes my heart ache because he erased himself from my memories. He changed the way I am...and he removed my love for him. It hurts. It hurts so bad knowing that the man that you loved tossed you away. That's what he did, didn't he? He tossed me away so he could have more time to spend taking over the world with his Black Knights.

I can get past what happened with my dad, because I know now that it wasn't really his fault. Accidents happen, as sad as that sounds. I can't hate him for that. Instead, I want to hate him for casting me away. For taking my memories. For lying to me again and again and again. I want to hate Lelouch for it.

But I can't.

You might ask why, my dear diary. The answer is quite simple, actually. It's because I love him. I'll admit it...I'm in love with Lelouch Lamperouge. Not Lelouch vi Brittania, not Zero, but plain old Lelouch Lamperouge. Even though he removed himself from my heart, he managed to find his way there all over again. I want to hate him, but I can't help but to love him. I don't even need to explain why, my diary, because I've already written down my reasons a hundred—no, a _million_ times in this book. It's for those exact same reasons that I, Shirley Fenette, am in love with Lelouch Lamperouge.

It's sounds so fitting when I put it that way, right? Like a fairy tale. As a kid, I've always wanted to be a princess. Like in one of those cheesy kid Britannian animations, where the princess gets stolen away from a dashing prince. So far, my life has been nothing like that, but I feel as if it is a love story either way. And I really want this love story to have a happy ending, because I think I deserve that at the very least, right?

To be honest with myself, I think that I wanted to hate Lelouch so that I could find someone to blame. But now, thinking about everything...maybe there isn't anyone to blame at all? While it may have seemed like he was tossing me away, I know that deep down he was simply trying to protect me but I just didn't want to admit it. Lelouch's protectiveness for the people that he cares about is one of the many reasons why I fell in love with him, after all. It makes me happy that he was willing to protect me like that.

I'm mad at myself for thinking about Lelouch in that way, but I can't help it! I know, it was bad looking back at it, but he's so mysterious and stubborn and determined and caring and so...broken. I can remember the way he looked at me when he ordered me to forget about him. He looked like he was in such pain. I really don't ever want him to hurt like that again.

This time, I'll support him. This time, I'll do the right thing. This time, I won't question him because I know that lazy genius has probably got a plan for everything and anything. I'll do it for him. Why? Because even after I forgot about my feelings, I grew to love him all over again. I'll love Lelouch until he heals again.

Diary, I need to meet up with him. I need to show Lelouch how much I support him, even though I know his secrets! And just maybe...he'll end up falling for me too. I know, it's just a wishful thought...I know that. However, deep down, I want to be loved in the exact same way that I love him.

Besides, I still need to slap him for lying to me again! That stubborn jerk needs to learn how to trust people.

Sincerely,

Shirley Fenette

P.S: Who on earth is Rolo, then?

* * *

Author's Note:

Thanks again everyone for reading the latest chapter of Thoughts of Truth. To me, Shirley always did seem like the type to have a diary; one that was probably filled with her love for Lelouch. In the show, Shirley was one of the most innocent characters, aside from Euphemia. However, her (rather innocent) love for Lelouch lead to something she definitely didn't expect. I feel bad about her end, because she really didn't deserve it. However, as readers, I hope you felt the innocence in this piece of writing. I wanted to really capture that aspect of Shirley.

Now on to other things!

I've received a couple story requests by the user Shiranai Atsune, who requested a couple Fem!Lelouch stories. Since I don't have too much time dedicated to writing (which explains why this update took around a week), I'll mostly be doing them as one-shots. If you have any story requests, be sure to PM me. I can't guarantee that they'll be done right away, or if I'll even write them, but I don't mind any input. Just make sure they aren't overly crazy, ok?

Thank you once again for reading, and I hope you're looking forward to further updates and installments. You guys are wondeful!

DYFM out!


	3. Chapter 3: The President

**Thoughts of Truth**

 **Chapter 3 - The President**

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The wind howled outside, sending leaves and small objects flying every which way. Something was creaking outside, and it sounded like it was precariously close to giving in to the gale. Not that Millicent Ashford would go out and check. She was currently hiding underneath her blankets and trembling. She would never admit it, but Milly had always been afraid of big thunderstorms and windy nights that made her whole house much creepier. Her house, not her home. To the Ashford heiress, home was all the way back in Pendragon, where she should be. Instead, her whole family had been disgraced, and they had been forced to come to the newly established Area 11. Luckily, they still had money, but not a decent reputation.

Milly couldn't sleep. The house was already foreign enough for her tastes, and the sound of howling and screeching wind only made it worse. Some days, she didn't want to sleep. Milly didn't like nightmares, especially ones filled with her missing friends. _Lelouch...Nunnally..._ , she thought. The two Vi Britannias were some of her best friends back in Pendragon. Milly had always been a popular girl, but the two children of royalty were the most down to earth and kind-hearted people that she knew. But now they were dead.

When Lady Vi Britannia died, and when the Ashfords fell from grace, both Lelouch and Nunnally traveled to Japan, which shortly became Area 11. There was no way that two royal children would be able to survive through such an ordeal. Milly knew that, and she missed them greatly.

Suddenly, the sound of knocking interrupted Milly's thoughts. While it was heavily muffled, it came from the main doorway. She could hear the sounds of the maids quickly opening the door, and the heavy footsteps of her grandfather coming to meet the visitors. But who could be visiting at such an hour?

Milly debated whether or not she should sneak outside. It was already much past her bedtime, and her grandfather would be very mad if he could her sneaking out. On the other hand, no one would usually visit at this time, and even if it was urgent, they would notify her grandfather beforehand. Curiosity got the best of her, and Milly quickly made up her mind.

She stuffed a couple small pillows underneath the blanket, just in case anyone checked up on her room while she was gone. The door opened with a small creak, and Milly swiftly stepped out. As stealthily as an 11 year old child could, Milly snuck her way over to the balcony that overlooked the main entrance. She crouched low and peeked her eyes over the banister.

It was a wild and rough looking Lelouch vi Britannia, with his sister Nunnally carried upon his back.

Milly had to clamp her hands over her mouth to prevent herself from gasping audibly.

 _But how...?_ she thought. It shouldn't have been possible. The islands that formed Area 11 were swiftly taken by Britannian forces, and most of the Eleven defenses were destroyed with ease. Two children wouldn't have been able to survive after the invasion, yet the two royal children were here in her house.

"Let's get you two somewhere where you can sit down..." Milly heard her grandfather say. "All of you," he said, gesturing towards the various maids that had gathered, "Dismissed." They took their leave and returned towards their various quarters, while Milly's grandfather, Ruben Ashford, lead Lelouch and Nunnally towards a sitting room.

Milly waited until the coast was clear then quickly made her way down the stairs while making as little noise as possible. She tip toed, like in those spy movies that her grandfather watched with her, across the floor until she reached the doorway of the sitting room. While it wasn't as big as the one back in Pendragon, Ruben Ashford often came here to read his books while Milly played out in the garden. The girl pressed her ear to the door and was able to listen to the muffled conversation.

"...need protection," Lelouch said.

"We can offer it, of course. After all, the Ashfords are allies of the Vi Britannian line."

"I understand," said Lelouch. He sounded cold and distant, completely the opposite of the carefree voice that Milly was used to.

"We have a school here," Ruben continued. "Both you and Nunnally can attend."

"As suitable place for a cover story," Lelouch agreed.

"Of course, we will provide you both with a cover name and a false back story."

There was a pause, which sounded to Milly like Lelouch was considering the idea. He was always a smart kid, and even tried to teach her chess, even though he would win every time.

"I agree. Thank you, Ruben, for your generosity," Lelouch finally answered, with a shuffle of movement.

"There's no need to bow to me, Your Highness! Especially since you are of such a higher rank," her grandfather said jokingly.

However, the mood turned cold. "I would appreciate it if you did not refer to me by my previous title," Lelouch said coldly. "You know that I gave up my claim for the throne, and even if I did not," his voice sounded strained, "the Emperor is no father of mine."

Even through the door, Milly could sense that the atmosphere was tense. Her grandfather did too, as he said after a slight pause, "I forgot to bring the two of you tea. Forgive me, I will fetch you some right now."

There was sounds of movement, and then footsteps. _This is my chance!_ Milly though. Now she would finally be able to see her long lost friends again. She had missed them so much, and the previous conversation had hinted that many things had happened to the siblings since they last saw her.

Milly pushed the door open slowly. He was sitting on an ornate couch, his hands gripping at his untamed dark hair, while Nunnally appeared be lying down and sleeping beside him. "Lelouch? Nunnally?" she called quietly.

Lelouch turned around quickly, he had not expected anyone else to be here. He looked at in her in shock, confusion marring his features for a millisecond before remembering who he was looking at. "Milly..." he said quietly, remembering the loud blonde who often came and played with him and Nunnally back at the Aries Villa.

The dam broke. Milly's eyes filled with tears as she began to sniffle. She attempted to hug him, to wrap her arms around him because she thought he was _dead_. Instead of returning her attempted hug, Lelouch flinched and recoiled backwards slightly. Milly stopped, seeing that he was clearly uncomfortable.

"Sorry..." she said awkwardly. Milly didn't exactly expect his reaction, but she understood why it happened.

"It's quite alright," Lelouch forgave her. He attempted to sound like it truly was okay, but Milly could hear the tenseness in his voice. She wanted it to go away. It was so fake, like an imitation.

Being the ever-curious child that she was, Milly asked him, "So what happened?"

He didn't respond for a while. As soon as she asked the question, Lelouch's eyes filled with anger and fire, while his body tensed and tightened. Whatever had happened was clearly something terrible. Milly didn't know what to say, she was frozen on the spot.

Next to them, Nunnally moved in her sleep and her hand reached out to hold her brother's. As soon as their hands touched, Lelouch appeared to relax. He took a deep breath, and the fire slowly died from his eyes. He seemed to slouch slightly as the tension left his skinny frame.

He looked at her deep in the eyes. "I don't want to talk about it. Not yet, at least." Lelouch eyes were sending Milly a message, telling her, begging her not to ask. Milly understood.

"I can't pretend to understand your situation, Lelouch, but I'm always here for you. You can talk to me about it whenever you're ready," she told him gently. _I'm going to be here for you no matter what_.

All of a sudden, they heard the clinking of cups coming from the other room. Lelouch's back straightened in alarm. "You need to go soon, Milly. I know you were sneaking around past your bed time, so you need to go soon before Ruben gets back," he told her urgently.

Milly nodded in thanks and acknowledgement. However, before she turned away, Milly addressed him one more time. "Lelouch, I don't know what happened, but we're friends. You, me, and Nunnally. Friends stick together, no matter what."

Just before she left, Milly smiled at him, the kind of smile that spoke of trust and care, the kind of smile that Lelouch missed. He smiled a real smile back at her, this time. Not the fake imitation of a smile, but one that spoke of their bond together. That's when Milly knew that they were always going to be friends, no matter what.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hello again everyone, and thank you for reading the latest chapter of Thoughts of Truth!

I hope you enjoyed reading about Milly and Lelouch as children. I chose this moment in their past because we all know that the Vi Britannias and the Ashfords were political allies, but we never really find out about Lelouch's and Milly relationship prior to the beginning of the timeline. I thought this scene was very important because Lelouch needed to get in to Ashford Academy anyway, and to do that he would have to see Milly. Being able to write their reactions and emotions is pretty nice, as we can see the tension in Lelouch after what had happened to him, and how this begins to affect Milly's view of her own country and Emperor. As a child, it would be hard to understand, but Milly begins to comprehend Britannia's true nature due to her friendship with Lelouch.

Next up, I'll be working on the latest chapter of The Human Element. It's going to be a similar one-shot style, but this time it's placed in the anime timeline of events. Don't worry, all the events will remain canon! I'm trying to write a lot this week, so I hope you're all ready for that.

I'll see you guys in a bit! Thank you again for reading. Please, if you enjoyed this scene, but sure to review.

DYFM out!


	4. Chapter 4: The Red Queen

**Thoughts of Truth**

 **Chapter 4 - The Red Queen**

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Kallen Kouzuki was a strong, fiery, and fierce woman who dominated her enemies on the battlefield and off with her strength and determination for victory.

She was not that same woman right now.

Instead, Kallen was crying. She had stayed in this position for what felt like eternity, but the tears didn't stop. They plagued her, just like the same poisonous thoughts entered her mind and destroyed everything that she had once know. Her leader, her king, the one who had always lead the Black Knights to victory had abandoned them in their greatest hour and caused their defeat. She had followed that very same leader to Kamine Island, where that traitor Suzaku captured him and revealed Zero's identity. Kallen had watched in anticipation and horror when the mask of the seemingly invincible Zero had split open and revealed...her classmate, Lelouch Lamperouge. At the time, she was too stunned to act. Lelouch had said much more, but she didn't pay attention. Instead, she was frozen in shock and disgust. How could a Britannian possibly fight for her cause? She ran away. Even when she could have saved him.

Kallen was disgusted at herself; disgusted at the fact that she let a Britannian man control and influence her. She couldn't bear to think that the "enemy" was behind this powerful movement. Even so, she compromised, when Zero had left them at the end of the Black Rebellion, the remaining members were left in disarray. Even with Tohdoh's military prowess, they were soon forced to retreat and go underground. Kallen didn't join them. She needed time for herself.

 _He can't be Zero_ , she thought. It was simply not possible. The Lelouch Lamperouge that she knew was sympathetic to the Japanese people, but he chose to do nothing about it. To Kallen, Lelouch was simply a lazy genius. He was unimportant to her in the long run. _Until I saw his face behind the mask..._

It was simply not possible for someone like him to be the charismatic genius known as Zero. And even if there was, then he was using them. Lelouch was Britannian, after all, and Britannian's never had other peoples' interests at heart. Kallen concluded that he was manipulating them for his own sick, twisted goals. Even if he did escape, even if he did return, Kallen would never follow him.

 _But what about his sister?_ a small voice said from the back of her head. Kallen frowned. Nunnally Lamperouge was one of the most sweetest and gentle people that she had ever met. To her, Nunnally was one of "the good ones". Despite being crippled and blinded to the world, Nunnally had always been nice and kind to everyone she met, even Suzaku, that traitor. _Lelouch must have done it all of her..._ , Kallen concluded. She understood; while he was still alive, her big brother Naoto had always been protective of her to the point where it got on her nerves. Even so, she suspected that Naoto began his rebellion in order to create a safe Japan just for her. That thought warmed Kallen's heart, and she understood Lelouch's motives.

But that didn't excuse the fact that he used her. She knew that he used Ohgi, Minami. Inoue, Tamaki, Tohdoh, and everyone else just for the sake of his own goals. In the end, he had betrayed her. Kallen thought that Zero trusted her...after all she was his queen, his ace, his Q-1. In the end, he used her. How could she ever trust him again when he never returned that trust? In the end...she was simply another pawn on his chessboard.

Kallen's head snapped upwards as the ringing sound of footsteps echoed throughout the warehouse that she had been crying in. The teen wiped her eyes of the remaining tears and attempted to compose herself.

"Who's there?" she called as she fumbled for her handgun. "I'm armed!"

The footsteps slowly stopped. "My, my," said the teasing voice of the green-haired witch, "You look like you're in quite a state."

Kallen growled. For all the times that C.C. could have appeared, it was now. The mysterious woman had always managed to annoy her no matter what. "What do you want now? Your master is gone," Kallen attempted to say arrogantly, but a hint of sadness and guilt seeped through.

"Yet you find yourself guilty."

Kallen flinched, and C.C. began to press her advantage. "How pathetic. The Ace of the Black Knights, Zero's Queen, sitting around and crying where no one can see her."

Immediately, Kallen stepped forward angrily towards the witch, "Shut up! We lost! He lied to me, and he betrayed me!"

C.C.'s ever present smirk grew. Leave it to Kallen to wear her emotions on her sleeve. "Of course he did," the immortal called out, "You would never be able to understand him. You realize that his motivation is Nunnally, but you don't know anything else."

"What is there to understand?" Kallen snarled at her. "He's _Britannian_! He used us to fulfill his own sick, twisted goals!"

"But he still would have freed Japan. That is what you wanted, wasn't it?"

"Yes...but..."

"But his goals are much greater than just Japan."

That shocked Kallen. "W-what do you mean?"

"I mean that Lelouch has a far greater goal than just one country," C.C. taunted her. "He doesn't simply want Japan to be free of Britannia; he wants the world to be free. A world free of war, strife, and suffering."

Kallen's gun almost slipped out from her fingers. She had just finally realized that she had not thought past the freedom of her country, but Lelouch had planned for far beyond that. She thought that he wanted power and control, but instead he wanted peace. She could have helped him, she could have freed him from Suzaku. Instead, she had ran away. It was her fault. _If only I hadn't run. If only I did something._

"The past is in the past. He wouldn't blame you for such actions, he would have understood," C.C. looked at her with a rare display of sympathy.

"But..." Kallen protested weakly.

"But nothing. Now are you coming or what?" C.C. tapped her foot impatiently.

Now Kallen was very, very confused. "Come with you where?"

"To rescue Zero, of course. You need to confess your love somehow."

Instantly, Kallen's face turned just as red as her hair. "I don't love Zero!" she shouted out loud.

"If you say so," C.C. giggled, before turning serious. "But remember Kallen, he isn't using you. As weird as it may seem, he cares for all of you. Especially you, girl. Don't forget that."

"I won't," Kallen nodded, as a smile appeared on her face, which was covered in tears mere minutes ago.

"Now let's get going."

Footsteps echoed in an empty warehouse. The first steps to reviving a demon.

* * *

Author's Note:

Wow, that was a tough chapter to get through! But as always, thank you once again for reading the latest installment of Thoughts of Truth. Like I said, I had some difficulty writing this chapter. As I began to write it, it became harder and harder for me to sit down and actually keep working. Eventually I just stopped for a bit and let myself think. I had a little vacation up at a cottage for 3 days, so that let me gather my thoughts on this a bit more. I ended up rewriting the chapter, and settled for it being a bit shorter than others in order to actually complete it. I don't mind, though, it's better that I actually like what I'm writing.

Kallen is always the fiery type, right? So when she gets serious or starts to break down, you know that shit is tough for her. I really like that Kallen's reactions through the anime were pretty realistic and not stupid, like in many TV shows. Her seriousness in this scene lets me describe how she is feeling while bringing light to her fieriness that we all know and love. In this chapter, C.C. served the purpose of explaining more subtle details, and I think that without them, Kallen would have taken much longer to come to that conclusion.

Not much is going on with my life right now, but I'm starting to get busier as school approaches. I have orientation to look forward to, and everyone wants to make plans because summer is about to end. I'm sorry if you see a decline in writing, but I'll try to as much as I can.

Thank you all once again for reviewing, faving, and following my stories. I'm glad that people enjoy the works that I write, as it gives me motivation to continue. A big thank you once again. I'll see you in the next update.

DYFM out!


	5. Chapter 5: The Red Queen Part II

**Thoughts of Truth**

 **Chapter 5: The Red Queen Part II**

(Line Break)

A/N: Hey everyone! Welcome back to a new update (finally). I'll have a much longer Author's note at the end of the chapter explaining where I've been and what I'm looking to for the future of my writing. For now, enjoy the chapter.

* * *

 _Previously:_

 _"But remember Kallen, he isn't using you. As weird as it may seem, he cares for all of you. Especially you, girl. Don't forget that."_

 _"I won't," Kallen nodded, as a smile appeared on her face, which was covered in tears mere minutes ago._

 _"Now let's get going."_

 _Footsteps echoed in an empty warehouse. The first steps to reviving a demon._

* * *

"So now that Zero is gone, you've used his credit to fund your obsession with pizza?" asked Kallen incredulously.

"I'm not obsessed. I'm simply a passionate pizza connoisseur."

Kallen looked around the rather small, but well furnished apartment. It was almost tiny, with a large bed in the corner, a worn couch, and a wall that separated it from the kitchen space. There were only a few doors, and Kallen assumed that they either lead to a closet or a bathroom. It could have looked much more homely and welcoming if there weren't stacks of pizza boxes on every available space. The smell of cheese had permeated the air, and Kallen wondered how long this place would take to air out the stench. She wrinkled her nose slightly.

"What?" C.C. commented in amusement. "Don't you like it?"

"I wonder how Zero ever put up with you," the redhead responded.

C.C., in response, leered at the girl with a sultry smile. "Would you like to find out why?"

Kallen immediately backed up as far as she could possibly go and landed on the couch. "Get away from me!" she yelled with a blush as red as her hair. "I don't ever want to think about that!"

C.C. simply laughed and collapsed upon her queen sized bed, covered in layers of blankets and pillows and of course, Cheese-kun. Kallen was always so fun to tease. The younger girl often had a short temper and buttons that were so easy to push. In the meantime, Kallen had relaxed and had taken a seat upon the cough with her legs up. Now that the fun was behind them, she expected an explanation.

C.C.'s muffled voice came from the bed, "You want an explanation, right?"

"Of course. That's what I came here for."

Kallen heard a loud sigh and the rustling of sheets at C.C. sat up on her bed. "I suppose the best place to begin would be 10 years ago." Before Kallen could comment, C.C. continued, "I would prefer if you didn't interrupt. The story will make sense eventually."

"10 years ago, a prominent Empress was murdered. Her name was Marianne vi Britannia. Her two children, Lelouch and Nunnally were left alone in a den of wolves, with no power or authority to protect them." C.C. could hear Kallen's gasp, but she continued with her tale.

"Angered with the lack of support coming from his father, Lelouch made his way to the throne and _demanded_ Charles to do something about it. Instead, the Emperor exiled him and Nunnally to Japan, as political hostages. It was there that he stayed with the Prime Ministers family, and became friends with his son, Suzaku Kururugi. It was then were the two siblings developed a deep love and appreciating for the country. However, it was short lived. The Emperor held no sympathy for his children, and the Kururugi Household was bombed. The three children fled and attempted to find shelter, with Lelouch carrying his blind and crippled sister over hundreds of rotten and bloody corpses.

Eventually, the vi Britannias and Suzaku parted ways. Lelouch found shelter with the Ashford family, who were political allies with his late mother. They have kept him safe ever since, hiding in plain sight. Years passed, and the siblings were safe and sound. Their world together was secret and unnoticed, and Lelouch planned for it to stay that way. Until he met me. He met me in Shinjuku, and I created a diversion, a way for Lelouch to reach the power that he so strongly desired. He then led you to victory. The rest of the tale, you already know. What is the most important part however, is that this is not for him.

This is for his sister. For his mother. For vengeance and for justice. In order to fulfil those desires, he seeks to create peace. To create peace requires the destruction of Britannia as it is today."

Kallen no longer had any words to describe what she was feeling at the moment. At the beginning, she was more than ready to voice her anger about being used by a _prince_ of all people, but not she couldn't wrap her head around it. First, Lelouch and Nunnally were royalty, even though they did not seem like it at all. Then, the witnessed the defeat Japan first hand, and walked through the destruction and horrors created by their homeland. Now, after all of that, she found out that this was all for his little sister?

"I-I don't know what to say," Kallen stuttered.

C.C. laughed. "Of course not. I just made your idol seem a lot more human."

Kallen blushed slightly but didn't react otherwise. "I still have some questions for you though."

"That's fine. I didn't expect you to trust that whole story, even if I was telling the truth."

"Why did Lelouch demand something from the Emperor, I mean, his father? Didn't he know that nothing good would happen because of it?"

"Of course he knew. However, his mother had just died, and his sister had become crippled and Charles didn't do a single thing about it. He called off the investigation. Lelouch suspected that the Emperor, who he no longer considers his father, by the way, had something to do with it. So he sought an audience with him to make Charles appear weak in front of the nobles. It obviously didn't work," C.C. said with a slight tinge of sadness.

Kallen's fists balled up in anger. "That bastard!" she yelled. "He couldn't even care for his children, all he cares about is power! I hate him even more."

C.C. smirked. "The person who hates him the most is the child he cast away."

Kallen finally began to see the inspiration and motivation behind her leader's rebellion, and couldn't help to admire to strength in his character. "So he created the Black Knights as a way to strike back at his father?"

"Not just his father," C.C. replied, "But Britannia itself. Lelouch seeks to create a peaceful world, and to do so, he must get rid of the Britannian ideology that has become a poison to humanity. The very same ideology promoted by the Emperor, and the same one that resulted in his exile and the conquering of Japan."

Seeing the confusion in Kallen's eyes, C.C. continued, "Lelouch still wants to free Japan. However, it is only one step in the greater scheme of things. By creating the Black Knights and by freeing Japan, Lelouch will increase his power to challenge Britannia on a more level playing field."

Kallen frowned. "So we're simply tools to help Lelouch get vengeance?"

"And Lelouch is simply a tool to free Japan?" C.C. countered, before sighing. "It's alright to have a relationship that is beneficial for both sides."

"I understand that…I really do," Kallen spoke hesitantly. "It just bothers me somewhat."

C.C. had nothing to say. She just hoped that the girl would one day understand.

"But C.C.?"

"Yes?"

"All of this…was for Nunnally? Everything?" Kallen whispered.

For a moment, C.C. was silent. "If you asked him, he would say yes," she said. "He loves her more than anything, you know. He doted on her ever since she was a little girl. Their exile only made him care for her more. She has been his reason to continue living, to continue fighting. That's what he would tell you. However, there is more to it."

Kallen looked up interested as the green-haired girl continue. "I can't be for certain, but I know that some part of this is for himself. Some part of this is his way of feeling alive again."

"Feeling alive?" Kallen interrupted.

C.C. glared at the offending girl before continuing. "Yes, feeling alive. To Lelouch, this fight, this struggle, is his duty. This, while for the sake of others, is also for his own self-fulfillment. Do not forget that."

"I see…" murmured Kallen. There was so much to this one person, Zero, Lelouch Lamperouge, and finally Lelouch vi Britannia. There was still so much that Kallen could not understand. How could a single person be so complex? During the day, he was a cold and snobbish student that cared for his little sister. In the night, he was an intelligent, charismatic, and merciless leader. But even before those two, he was an exiled prince with a desire for vengeance. How could she ever figure which one was the most real and genuine? _But now I don't have a chance to figure that out…_ Kallen thought to herself.

Oblivious to the other girl's thoughts, C.C. made her way to the kitchen and began to reheat another pizza. "You could sleep here, I guess. I don't know if you have anywhere else to stay."

Kallen snapped out of her stupor and responded, "Where would I even sleep?"

"On the couch, of course."

Kallen pouted slightly. "And then what? We eat pizzas all day long?"

The witch sauntered back in to the room. "I wish. No, we must bide our time and wait to make our move."

"Make our move?" Kallen asked, surprised. "But Zero is gone."

"Yes, he is gone." C.C. said, "But he is not dead. Trust me, he is very much alive. Just very far from our reach."

Kallen decided not to question the mysterious woman, as she had been right on other cases before, such as on Kamine Island. "What will we do to reach him?" she asked expectantly.

The green-haired woman simply looked ahead with a blank expression. "I have no idea."

"…Are you serious?!" All that talk of deep life lessons and learning, just to not have a plan anyway?!

"Relax," C.C. said nonchalantly, "It will be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Don't worry about it. But…" C.C. said slowly as a sly smile creeped on her face. "For questioning me, you will be wearing a bunny suit."

"A BUNNY SUIT?!" Kallen cried out. "No way will I ever be wearing that!" A bright blush had made its way to her face at the thought of wearing such a revealing and dishonourable outfit.

"That's what you get." C.C. smiled dangerously. "Now, pizza!" she said, as the oven beeped and made her way to pick up her delicious treat.

Kallen sighed. _This is life for me now. I just hope I won't have to put up with her antics for a year or something crazy like that…_

* * *

Author's Note:

Hey everyone! Welcome back to another update. I'm finally back! I missed you all. Let me break down this author's note so you can all know what to read and what not to read. First, I'm going to talk about what's been going on with my life. Then I'm going to talk about the future of my Code Geass stories. Next will be me talking about my Pokemon stories. Finally, I'll be talking about what plans I have for the near future and what I'll be doing. Let's get to it!

First of all, I would like to apologize for a long time in between updates. I started my first semester of post-secondary education, and man, that was a wild ride. It was confusing and scary but at the same time it was refreshing and fun. My program is pretty easy so far, and while I know that might change, it was still nice to enjoy everything as it came. However, I found myself with little free time and less of a desire to write. Even when my winter break started a couple weeks ago, I got a job and that reduced my free time even more. However, I'm finally able to come back. I'll do my best to push out a couple more updates for this winter. Consider this one a late Christmas present.

Now, on to Code Geass stuff. The next update will probably go to The Human Element. I know that's my biggest story so far, and I don't want to let anyone down. However, I'm not too sure where to go from when I'm done my requests. Maybe I'll open up for some requests based in the same universe as that one? I'll probably put more detail in that chapter. Also, I have a story idea featuring Lelouch and Milly in R2. I've always thought Milly was a cool character, and I'll be looking forward to working with her. It's going to be different from my recent stories for sure, as I will have to almost fully plan out what I want and my role for each character. If I manage to get it out, it will be much larger than my previous works. That's what I'm looking forward to in the future. And also, NEW SEASON? I'M HYPED!

Now, for Pokemon related things. I would just like to say that Sun and Moon is brilliant. I'm not going to spoil anything, but it is a masterpiece of a game, especially for Pokemon. There are a couple things that annoyed me, but aside from that, it is beautiful. Now I'm not too inspired to write more Pokemon works, but we'll have to wait and see on what I'm feeling. Thanks for sticking with me.

Now, on to the last part. I would just like to say a huge thank you to you guys for sticking with me for just over a year now. It's been such a great ride, that's for sure. I know that I've had my absences, but you guys have been supporting me, and I am really grateful. Thank you once again. I really appreciate it. Now, for the future, expect more Code Geass works, possibly a new story involving Milly, and as many updates as I can for the next week or so. For Pokemon, I'm still unsure, but we'll see how it goes.

Thank you for reading, and I hope all of you had a happy holidays and a wonderful season. I'll see you guys in the next update.

DYFM out!


	6. Chapter 6: The Scientist

**Thoughts of Truth**

 **Chapter 6: The Scientist**

* * *

35 million people dead.

35 million human beings.

35 million fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, lovers, soldiers, and civilians _gone_. In an instant.

In one second, there was a flash of pink light. In the next second, there was nothing. Of course, that was the way that Nina Einstein designed it to be. This was what she created it to do. She created it to take, in the same way that Zero took her love away from her. She created it to represent how much a part of her was gone. But she never knew that it would take so much. It was the lives of 35 million people, after all.

As the main designing force behind the F.L.E.I.J.A., the only bomb of its kind to ever exist, shouldn't Nina be happy? The weapon performed exactly as it was expected. Every single step, from the detonation to the final Sphere Reduction effect, was almost perfectly similar to what the test models predicted. It was the perfect experiment. At the cost of millions and counting.

And when Nina Einstein saw the explosion from the relative safety of the Avalon, she was in shock. She knew that Suzaku Kururugi was equipped with a F.L.E.I.J.A. warhead, everyone one the airship knew. What she hadn't expected was that he would use it at such proximity to the city. From the ship, it all seemed so far away – one bright pink flash of light that was gone in a second. But when Lloyd Asplund brought her to see the results, she almost broke down.

There was almost nothing left. The only things that remained were large pieces of debris that got carried in by the air as it rushed to fill in the unoccupied space taken by the explosion. It was a lonely crater that stretched for miles. What used to be a bustling city centre was now gone; and in its place was an empty wasteland. Where the sounds of millions of people doing through their daily lives was now devoid of any form of life, and where a lifeless silence reigned. There was nothing, nothing at all. And she was responsible. Not that anyone would ever be able to tell.

As soon as she returned to the small housing unit onboard the Avalon, Nina locked herself in her room. She flicked the lights of and even moved a shelf in front of the door, then threw herself on top of the small twin-sized bed. It seemed like an eternity before she shed a single tear, but it was all it took before she broke. And all the while, even as tears streamed down her once-innocent features, Nina Einstein only felt pain and sorrow. But in the lightless confines of her room, there was nothing to comfort her but darkness.

Nina finally left her room after three days.

During those three days, Cecile Croomy, the caring woman that she was, managed to get three meals through her door. No clean plates ever returned, however. But when she left her room, it was clear that Nina was a different person. What had been a motivated and hard-working scientist returned a shell of her former self, with no more than a single word to say to anyone. Only Lloyd had managed to get a word out of the girl, and that's because he was annoying her so much that she had to tell him to go away. Everyone knew that she was depressed, but they never said it. They believed that it would only anger the girl further.

However, Nina slowly began to open up. It seemed like weeks, but the prodigious scientist slowly began to speak, and eat, and interact with others again. Based on the way she spoke with the crew, one would almost suspect that Nina had returned to her former state of mind. However, Cecile knew differently.

Ever since returning to work, Nina had never touched anything related to project F.L.E.I.J.A. She would tense up whenever it was mentioned, and refused to speak about the project at all. Whenever work involving the event was brought up to her, she simply passed it on to either Lloyd or Cecile. And when Cecile was looking closely, she could notice Nina's trembling figure when she thought that nobody could see her. She noticed the girl's tear-stained sheets when she handed them in for laundry day. She noticed the regret and sadness that appeared whenever Nina was the most vulnerable.

Nina Einstein once dreamt of taking what was taken away from her, and she nearly succeeded. Her wish cost the lives of millions; millions who would never be able to dream again. So her dreams turned in to nightmares, nightmares that kept her awake every night, imagining the horrors and pain that she had unleashed. The only thing that kept her sane was a wish for acceptance and forgiveness – both blessings that she knew would never come.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, and thanks for reading another chapter of ToT!

I know, I know, it's a short one. However, this is for a multitude of reasons. Throughout the story, Nina is a rather minor character, with the exceptions of the F.L.E.I.J.A. development, her xenophobia, and her infatuation with Princess Euphemia. Two of those points can be related to this chapter. Secondly, while I do my best at describing the situation, it is simply impossible to know the weight of the guilt that Nina was feeling. 35 million is a huge number, and imagine every single digit as a human being. Instead of trying to describe it in detail, I'll let you go through that yourself.

Now, for future updates. Shiranai Atsume sent me a whole bunch of ideas that I can use for The Human Element, and so I'll be preparing one for next week! Also, I have some ideas for a new oneshot that may be kind of dark. We'll see how that goes, but there will definitely be a new update next week and I will push for 2.

What sucks is that I just got sick today, and my brain isn't feeling the best. A new semester also starts at the end of next week and I will do my best to keep writing. For now, I hope you're all having a wonderful day and a wonderful start to the new year.

See you guys in the next update! DYFM out!


End file.
